so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
