Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
