he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize