That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
