we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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