I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
