What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Send help, water and tortillas.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize