WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
