let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
