...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
