I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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