we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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