Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
