He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
