my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
