If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
