I skipped work to stalk him.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
