I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
