Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
