for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
