'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
