My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
