So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
