shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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