we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
