He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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