This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Say something about gay babies.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
