Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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