He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
birth control should be required to get into college
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
