did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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