Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
