i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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