Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
