so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize