Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
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My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
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I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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