a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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