Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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