haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
