If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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