I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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