I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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