im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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