last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
