I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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