that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You pole danced in your parka.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
