my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
