I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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