she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
