In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
