We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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