He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
