Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
