we're blogging at a bar
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
