at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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