my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
