i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
