The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
