I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
