they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
