What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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