so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize